Lessons from God

We started VBS, or KidzJam as we call it, at NewLife Church this week.  I love the excitement in the air during this time, and I so wish we could be this excited everyday about God!  The staff at the church ordered matching t-shirts for all of the volunteers to wear so that we would be easily identified by the kids.  Nothing fancy----plain black tees with the words "I am New Life" on the front and the church website in small letters on the back.  I've been really thinking about those words and what they mean to me.  It reminded me that the church is not a building or a place but a body of believers.  The church is made up of people who aren't perfect but have been made perfect in God's eyes because of the blood of Jesus Christ.  So, to every person that I come into contact with everyday, I am the church.  NewLife is not just our church name.  New life is what we are given when we choose to accept Jesus as our Lord and saviour.  As I contemplated these things, the Lord seemed to whisper to me, "You have been given new life, but you don't always live like someone who has been given such an amazing gift."  Ouch!  He was, as usual, right!  I take my t-shirts seriously.  I know that people make decisions about my lifestyle based on the advertising that I wear on my clothes.  I want what I wear on the outside to represent who I am on the inside.  As I wore that shirt last night, I became more aware of my new life.  It isn't something to hide on the inside; it is something that people should see in me and not just on me. 

I interviewed for a teaching job at the end of June, and I knew that they would make a decision by this week.  In the meantime, I have been applying for other types of jobs, but I haven't even gotten a call for an interview.  I have been trying to remain hopeful and even thought that maybe I wasn't getting any calls because God wanted me in the teaching position that I had applied for last month.  Well, today I got an email letting me know that they had made a decision and that I didn't get the teaching job.  I was much more disappointed than I had thought that I would be.  It hurt, and I hadn't expected that at all.  As I have gone about my day, the Lord kept reminding me of my new life and the joy that it represents.  It isn't dependent upon my getting that job or any other one.  It is an amazing gift given to me by an amazing God just because He loves me.  He loves me in ways that I can't even begin to imagine, and I am convinced that the lesson he gave me last night and this morning on my new life was perfectly timed to help me deal with the hurt that He knew I was going to feel today.  As always, He is right on time.   

I don't know what you may be dealing with today, but I know that God wants to comfort you and strengthen you just as He has me today.  If you have new life in Him, then celebrate it.  If you don't have it, then I pray that you will reach out to Him today to receive it. 

A Bump in the Road

Yesterday was a busy day for me.  As you know if you read my blog, I have been looking for a job for several months and trying to get started on some classes at the local community college.  I discovered last week that there is a prerequisite for one of the Education Technology classes that I need to take.  It is Introduction to Computers.  Because of my financial situation I can only take 2 classes at a time and, while the intro class is required at the college, the hours for it won't count toward my teaching license.  I decided that I would pay $25 to take a test on the class.  If I made an 80 or better, I would have received credit for the class and wouldn't have to take it this fall.  While I am very comfortable with a computer, my skills in Excel fell short of the 80 that I needed.  I knew this before I got the official word from the instructor.  Before I left campus yesterday, I stopped into the success center to find out how the online classes that I'm taking this fall will work.  I'm from the old school of showing up to a classroom and sitting in a desk with an instructor in front of me, so I had no idea how to "show up" for the online class.  The man in the success center was just what I needed.  He seemed to be a little bit older than me and was very helpful.  I was of course stressed about the test.  He took time to pull the test up for me, and he asked me to show him what I didn't know how to do in the spreadsheet.  He asked me a couple of questions and then I went to the very spot that I couldn't find during the test.  He smiled.  I said, "Crap!"  He laughed.  I guess that I could have done better if I had just taken a little more time instead of getting frustrated during the test.  You see, everything that I needed was there, but I couldn't see the trees for the forest.  Our conversation went from the test to God's plan for our lives.  He talked about how all of us are going to die one day and that there was more to life than money.  He talked about Noah.  He reminded me that Noah started building the ark long before it rained.  He preached to the people and warned them but only his family joined him on the ark.  We laughed because we decided that his kids probably thought he was crazy too, but they didn't know where there next meal would come from if they didn't go with him.....if you have a teenager you know what I mean!  He said that if you looked at the number of people Noah convinced to get on the ark with him, you might say that he wasn't successful.  But, he said that God knew Noah's heart and God knew how hard Noah had worked.  Noah was successful in God's eyes!  So, I left school a little less frustrated and a whole lot more satisfied because of a stranger that God put in my path.  I didn't pass the test yesterday, but I know that God knows my heart, and He is more concerned with my effort than my grade.  Once again I wanted to take a shortcut and hurry things along.  I seem to do this more since I turned 40.  I look back at my first 40 years and want to accomplish so much more in my next 40.  I also am more aware of the fact that we aren't promised tomorrow and that I may have much less than 40 years left.  I struggled last night with how my failure was going to effect my progress in reaching my goal.  I woke up this morning with a fresh perspective and am reminded that the good stuff is in the journey, not the goal.  So, I'm taking a deep breath, changing my schedule, and I'm waiting with great expectations for the next step on my journey:)

Waiting again

In my last post I was sharing with you how difficult waiting for a job has been for me.  Today was a perfect example of why.  My daughter wanted to go to the flea market, so, since I didn't want her to drive herself and her cousin and little sister, I decided to go with them and drive my car.  I love my car.  I bought it new in 2001, and it has served me well.  It does however have over 206,000 miles on it now, and there are a few things wrong with it.  The air conditioning doesn't work well.  The leather on the seats is starting to tear.  It uses a little oil.  The rear speakers are shot...imagine that!  Despite these little things, I am happy to drive my Durango.  It suits me.  I'm comfortable with it.  In fact, I was very happy this week to finally get new "used" tires and thought that I would be good to go until the time came to get a new car.  So, back to our trip.  The flea market was closed!  We made our way to the Goodwill store instead, and a couple of blocks from the store my check engine light came on as the car lurched forward.  As we sat at the stop light, the engine revved up on its own and the car lurched forward with my foot on the brake.  Something is wrong with my car!  We made it to Goodwill and then on to McDonald's where my husband met us to follow me home just in case.  It may be something minor, but I know my car, and I feel like this is more than just a simple cold.  I think it may be something terminal!  What do you think is the first thing that I thought about when I realized that something was wrong with my car?!  A job!  How am I going to get a new car if I don't have a job?!  How am I going to even get this one fixed, if it can be, if I don't have a job?!  Once I got into the air conditioning at Mcdonald's and had some tea, I began to calm down.  I reminded myself of my earlier blog this week.  Waiting.  Oh, yes.  Waiting.  I am thankful to be home and thankful to have 2 friends who are both great mechanics.  Between the two of them we will discover what the problem is with my car and either get it fixed or retire it.  If I have to retire it, I know that the God that created the universe can certainly provide me with a car, so I've decided to once again wait and not worry.

Learning to Wait

It is hard to believe that it has already been 9 months since I had to close my business.  I guess that part of the reason is that there is still some heartbreak there for me.  Because my business was so much more than a business for me, it has truly been like dealing with a really bad break-up.  The first few days and weeks were going through the motions just to get through the process of ending it.  Then there were the days of not wanting to get out of the bed in the morning but doing it anyway.  Just like with a break-up, time has begun to take away the sting of my loss.  I definitely have many more good days than bad days now, and I am focusing on moving forward and not looking back.  The one thing that I struggle with the most is not having a permanent full-time job yet.  You would think that in this "private sector is doing fine" economy that someone with a college degree and all sorts of office and management experience could find a job.  The jobs are there, but, unlike the "old days" where you walk in and drop off a resume and expect a phone call, I feel like my resume goes into the black hole of resumes somewhere in cyberspace!  Seriously!  I have discovered that more than needing the money, I need a place to belong.  My own desk.  My own area.  My own responsibilities.  My own coworkers who are glad to see me each day.  Yes, in my fantasy job they are all glad to see me each day!  Anyway....God is really teaching me to wait for his timing during this period of my life.  He is teaching me that the job that he wants me to have is out there and that the where and when are not important in this moment.  In this moment I need to focus on Him and simply take advantage of this time in my life to relax.  I've always thought that I had a lot of patience.  It turns out that I have a lot of patience when I am in charge and know the outcome of the situation.  I don't have patience when I am not in charge and want a different outcome than the one that I have been given.  I can be patient in line at Wal-mart because I know that eventually I will get checked out and, besides, their air conditioner is better than the one in my car.  I am not very patient waiting in line for a job because I don't know what job that I am going to get and some days it seems like I am never going to get one.  Everybody keeps telling me that eventually I will get something, and I know that they are right.  I don't have a problem with eventually....just the time between now and eventually.  So, I am learning to wait.  I am learning to worship while I wait.  I am learning that waiting doesn't have to be wasted, and I'm praying that I will make good use of the waiting time that I have left.  You may not be waiting on a job, but, chances are, you are probably waiting on something or someone.  I hope you will join me in making good use of your waiting time too.