Don't Procrastinate

My small flower bed has been neglected this year.  I pulled the weeds and got it ready for the new flowers over a month ago, but I just haven't had the money to buy the flowers yet.  It hasn't been empty though, I have 3 gerber daisy plant that came back from last year.....and more weeds than I would want to count!  I decided that I was going to get the weeds out today and get the bed ready for flowers that I plan on buying this weekend.  Morgan was supposed to help me, so I waited on her to get home from school to tackle the job.  She got busy with her dolls this afternoon and forgot all about me!  As I was out there sweating like a horse and wondering why I hadn't put on my sweat band to keep the sweat out of my eyes, I scolded myself for letting the weeds get so big and so numerous.  I tried to justify by reminding myself that I have had a nasty cold for what seems like forever.  My conscious spoke up and reminded me that nobody ever died from a cold and that if I had pulled the weeds when they first popped up, there wouldn't have been so many and their roots wouldn't have had time to spread deeper and wider into the soil.  I'm sure that God was chuckling at me as I had this conversation with myself.  No, it wasn't outloud this time, but I have been known to talk to myself at times!  In the midst of the weeds and the sweat, God spoke to my heart and said, "Kim, this is exactly how sin takes a hold in your life.  It starts out small; barely even visible to others in your life.  You know that it's there and that it needs to be dealt with, but you try to ignore it or justify it.  Before you know it, everybody that drives by can see it!  It is smothering out the good in your life just like the weeds were hiding your flowers and it is now going to take work and sweat to get rid of it.  There are probably people that love you that will be hurt in the process too. That is why you need to be in my word daily and worship me in all that you do.  That is also why you need to fellowship with other believers and have a trusted friend to hold you accountable in your words and actions.  I am here for you no matter what, but I want to help you avoid the pain that sin causes in your life.  So, as soon as you spot sin in your life, yank it out and toss it to me.  I know how to get rid of it once and for all."  I'm so glad God loves me enough to speak to me; even if it is through the weeds!  And guess what?  I found another gerber daisy plant hidden beneath the weeds!  Don't procrastinate!  Get rid of the weeds so that your flowers can shine, and don't be afraid to use some weed killer to keep the darn things from coming up in the first place! 

Just some Lotion

Yesterday Morgan and I went to the movies.  Just us.  One large popcorn and 2 large sodas.  We had a great afternoon!  After the movies, we went to Family Dollar just to look.  30 minutes and $40 later we came out with some things that we needed and a couple that we just had to have.  Morgan just had to have the giant cupcake pan, which we tried out as soon as we got home.  You should have seen her face when we took it out of the oven!  I just had to have a bottle of Jergen's Original Scent Lotion.  One of the last things that my Grandmother, Nanny to me, asked me to bring her when I visited her in the hospital was a bottle of that lotion.  She loved it!  And it had to be original scent!  I opened it up in the store to smell it.  I smiled as I thought of her request.  I would have spent $40 on lotion if she had asked for it, but she only wanted Jergen's.  Boy, would I love to see her and touch her just for a few minutes!  So, this morning after my shower I took the bottle out and covered myself from head to toe with Jergen's Original Scent.  My allergies drive me nuts, so I don't normally use scented body lotion.  Today I used plenty!  You should have seen my face!  It had a smile on it as big as Texas!  The kind of smile you have when you drive 5 hours and walk into the room to see someone you love to pieces because just hearing her voice on the phone doesn't comfort you the way that putting your arms around her does.  I know that I can't be with her now, but I closed my eyes and saw her face, heard her voice, smelled her lotion and felt her presence this morning.  To most people it is just some lotion.  To me it is a precious reminder of someone who can't be here in body, but will live on in spirit as long as I remember and share her stories with my kids so that they will remember too. 

Hope

As my relationship with Christ grows, I am learning to be less of a worrier and more of a worshiper.  It hasn't been an easy thing for me.  Anyone that knows me will tell you that I am a natural born Martha.  I worry about details and chores that need to be done.  Very seldom do I just hang out at home.  Even when I do sit down to watch TV, I do laundry or get up during commercials to do some task.  Relaxing is something that doesn't just happen for me.  I have to plan for it!  So, there are some difficult things that I have been experiencing over the course of the last 4 years and most recently, a broken relationship in my family.  I am thankful for my growth in Christ because the person that I was several years ago would be a miserable wreck by now and would have made herself sick worrying about the situations.  The woman that I am becoming today knows that God has not only seen my past and sees my now; he also sees my tomorrow and has already taken steps to help me handle whatever happens when I get there.  Don't get me wrong.  I still have moments when the worry creeps in and starts to consume my thoughts, but I now know that I can take those thoughts and cast them away in the name of Jesus.  He didn't die on a cross so that I would spend my time worrying about bills to pay or family members who don't speak to each other.  I pray for God to give me opportunities to work so that I can better manage my finances, and I pray that God will heal the hearts of family members who can't let go of anger and pride or whatever it is that keeps them apart.  I try to replace the worries with worship by being thankful for something in place of worrying.  Today on the way home from work I was listening to my favorite Christian radio station.  A mother called to thank the radio station for playing a song that she said has helped her get through the difficult days and nights that she faces since the death of her 4 month old baby.  My heart broke as she shared her story.  On my worst day filled with phone calls about our debt or a sad heart because someone that I love doesn't attend family functions or take time to see our Mom on Mother's Day, I still can't even begin to know the hurt and pain of this Mother.  As long as I am alive and able to work there is hope for my financial future.  As long as my family members are alive there is hope for reconciliation.  So, today, I am thankful for 2 healthy daughters and a God that gives me hope and the strength to focus on the hope and not the worries of the day.

Jesus Eyes and Jesus Ears

One of the things that I strive to always do is look at others throught the eyes of Jesus and listen to what they say with His ears.  Here's why.  When I look at others without my Jesus eyes, I tend to notice their faults instead of their gifts.  When I listen to what others say without my Jesus ears, I tend to hear only what comes out of their mouth instead of hearing what is coming out of their heart.  Don't get me wrong.  I'm not saying that we should always overlook or ignore things that others do to hurt us or not hold others accountable for their actions.  What I am saying is that we need to remember that a person is not made up of just his/her bad choices.  When Jesus looks at us, He looks right past our imperfections and straight into our hearts.  He sees something good because He was there at creation, and He knows that we are good.  My husband says that I am naive.  He thinks that I let people walk all over me.  Maybe according to the standards of the world I am too nice, but the moment that I accepted Jesus Christ as my saviour I began to hold myself to a higher standard.  I wish that I could say that I have always stayed the course, but the truth is that I was out of church and away from God for a number of years.  Notice that I said that I was away from God.  He never left me.  I give thanks to Him for staying with me even when I wasn't serving Him.  I know that it was His hand that kept me safe and kept me out of trouble during a time in my life when I wasn't making very good choices.  It was the voice of the Holy Spirit calling me to draw near to God and find a church home over nine years ago.  It was the same voice that encouraged me to do more than just attend church.  It encouraged me to get involved and put my faith into action because the Bible tells us that faith without action is dead.  It is that same gentle Spirit that helps me to look past the drug addiction, the alcohol addiction, the pornography addiction, the laziness, the dishonesty, the adultry, the selfishness, the hatefullness that I see in people.  It reminds me that underneath all of that junk is a hurting soul that needs the healing touch of Jesus, and I might be the vessel that He has chosen to reach them.  I am humbled that He would choose me for such a task.  I don't think that I am worthy, but I know that as His vessel, it is He that will be doing all of the work if I will just agree to let Him work through me.  I was reminded of this one morning on my way to work.  Derwin Grey was on the radio talking about a conversation between Jesus and Gabriel.  He said that Gabriel was surprised to learn that Jesus' plan for spreading the good news about what He had done for us depended on a group of diciples that followed Him.  Gabriel asked if there was a better way to spread the word to the ends of the earth, and Jesus replied that he was counting on us.  Counting on me and you.  Can you believe that?  There are people all around us who are hurting in ways that we can't even imagine.  They pass by us and even speak to us every day.  We are often too busy to notice.  My prayer today is that God will bless us all with the eyes and ears of Jesus and that we will notice and reach out to the hurting people that He sends our way each day.

Blessed

The kids have been on Spring Break this week.  We didn't have the money to go anywhere, but we have had fun hanging out at home.  My girls are country girls, and, while they do love the beach, they had a blast playing in the mud one day, and Ellen has enjoyed getting to know her horse again.  She has always been very good at it, so I was very happy to see her get back in the saddle this week.  The best part for me was not getting up at 5:30 every day!  I just don't think God intended for us to get up before the sun!  This morning my Saturday morning Zumba class was held in the Town Center instead of at the gym.  There was a fundraiser held today for a little boy who is 2 and has an inoperable brain tumor.  His family has been going through a very difficult time.  I can't even imagine.  Today as I was doing Zumba in the cool morning air with the sun smiling down on me, I thanked God.  I thanked him for the beautiful weather, for the fact that I am able to move my body no matter how funny it looks, and I thanked him for my girls who are both healthy and cancer free!  I have struggled with our financial difficulties this week and have grieved a little about not being able to do some of the things that I would like to do for myself, my home and my family.  Today God reminded me that I am blessed beyond measure because I have my health, my home and my family:)

That Darn Blackberry Plant!

So, remember that darn blackberry plant that my husband planted by the porch?  The one that has been there for years and finally died?  The one that I was so happy to cut back to the ground because it was finally dead, and I never liked it planted there to begin with?  Yep, that one.  I discovered today that in its place are 3 new sprouts!  Do you think that God is trying to tell me something?!  What I thought was dead is alive again the day before I celebrate the resurrection of my Lord and Saviour!  My husband was so happy!  In fact, I only saw one sprout, but he was so happy to let me know that there were 3!  My Mom said that I should just dig it up and replant it somewhere else, but I know that it will probably die if I do, and then my husband would surely be upset.  I guess I'll just leave it where its at and let it be a reminder that no person or situation is hopeless until God says it is hopeless.  I see those little sprouts and think of loved ones or maybe even just acquaintances that have made and continue to make some really bad choices.  Many people have given up on them.  Many have told them that they are hopeless and that they will never amount to anything.  I have myself had days where I cried out to God and told Him that I just don't think they are ever going to change.  Then I see those sprouts and am reminded that God can make something from nothing.  He can take bad choices and use them to make strong people with amazing testimonies.  After all, he made man from dirt and breathed life into him.  He can surely breath new life into people and blackberry bushes that  we had long ago given up on.

I woke up this morning with Jesus on my mind.  I wish that I could say that He is the first thing that I think of every morning, but I have to be honest and admit that my brain isn't fully functioning at 5:30, and I'm focusing what is awake on getting my daughter up and cooking her breakfast.  Today, though, my mind was on Jesus and the agony that He suffered for me and you.  I have said that I can't imagine suffering that way for others, but He wasn't just suffering for anybody.  He was suffering for His creation.  He was there when the world was created, and he came in the form of man to live and die and rise again so that His creation could spend eternity with Him.  My husband and I have created two beautiful daughters, and I know that I would do the same for them.  I would suffer to end their suffering.  I would go hungry so that they could eat.  I would give them the clothes on my back to keep them warm.  I would give my life for their life.  This is the love that Jesus has for us.  Today as we were riding through the country, we passed a paved road with a gate.  We have passed it many times before, but today as we passed my 9 year old said, "Rich people live there."  She is old enough now to realize that some people have more than others.  I replied, "We are rich too."  She said, "No, we're not."  I replied, "We are rich with Jesus.  We are rich with a healthy family."  She said, "Oh, yeah."    You see, at an early age we begin to see the world through worldly eyes instead of Godly eyes.  This evening when I sat down to read my devotion for today it was about focusing on things that we do have instead of things that we don't have.  The author, Sarah Young, began by talking about all of the delicious fruit that Eve had in the Garden of Eden, yet she focused on the one she couldn't have instead of being thankful for all that she did have.  She went on to say, "When you focus on what you don't have or on situations that displease you, your mind also becomes darkened.  you take for granted life, salvation, sunshine, flowers, and countless other gifts from (God).  You look for what is wrong and refuse to enjoy life until that is fixed."  I thought again about that gate and the nicely paved road that leads to a house that we have never even seen.  I live a mile down a dirt road that is riddled with pot holes.  Some days the pot holes really drive me nuts!  What really bothers me most about the pot holes is not that they are there, but that they are there because we have been humbled in a huge way over the last 4 years and can't afford to buy the gravel to fix the pot holes.  There it is.  The ugly truth.  My devotion today reminded me that I can choose to focus on the pot holes and worry about not having a paved road with a gate, or I can choose to be thankful for the home that I have at the end of the pot holes.  It isn't much, but it's mine.  My children have grown up here, and they wouldn't want to live anywhere else.  My hope is in God.  It isn't in my road or my home.  It isn't in the car I drive or the clothes that I wear.  Yes, today I woke up with Jesus on my mind, and I'm so thankful that over 2,000 years ago, He died with me on His.