Lesson Learned

It's late, and I really should be in the bed.  I had a final project due for a class tonight so I was up late completing it.  No, I didn't wait until the last minute to do it, but it was a rather tedious assignment that I have been working on for a couple of weeks, and tonight was my night to wrap it up and turn it in.  I really should have spent more than 2 hours working on it yesterday, because wrapping it up took longer than I thought.  My grade will be less than par for me, but I discovered something very important during this assignment.  Actually, I discovered a lot, but one thing in particular is so worth sharing that I had to write about it tonight.  Here it is.  All of my life I have been blessed with the ability to do well in school.  As long as I have put forth the effort, I have been rewarded with good grades.  Well, I have put forth a lot of effort on the project that I submitted earlier tonight, and I know that my reward for this one will not be a good grade.  I know this because we have a specific grading rubric, and I know that I didn't complete all of the components of it.  Normally, I would be very disappointed with myself for not making an A, but this is one time that I am just proud that I turned something in to the teacher.  Some of my difficulties came from underestimating the scope of the project and some of them came from being a 20th century learner trying to adapt to learning in the 21st century.  I won't bore you with the details of that, but I do want to tell you a little more about what I learned.

I learned that sometimes the final grade isn't always reflective of the effort that was put forth.  I learned that the process of learning was more important for my future success as a student and teacher than the final grade on this project.  As I thought about this project and what I have learned, I was reminded of my spiritual walk and immediately God showed me something.  Hang in there as I try to explain it....this is one time when the words may not be able to work for me.  Sometimes what we see on the outside of people or the outcome of situations is not reflective of their heart for God.  You see, despite my hard work and desire to make a good grade, it just won't happen on this project, but I did have a great learning experience that won't be reflected in my grade.  Sometimes, the outcome in my life or someone else's is not what I would hope or expect.  In fact, if I had to give myself or others a grade based on what I see as the finished product, I would be giving out a lot of F's for failure.  The truth is that only God can see the finished product in the work He has started.  What looks like an F to us may not be a true reflection of the work God is doing in our own or someone else's life.  I wish that I could say that I have never looked at someone's choices and said that I would never do that or how could he/she do that, but the truth is that I have.  Somehow, in this difficult school project, God has reminded me that I shouldn't say such things because what I am seeing on the outside may not be reflective of what is going on underneath.  Sometimes the lessons that I learned on the first time take someone else two or three or four or five or even 20; it doesn't make them any less in God's eyes, and it shouldn't make them any less in mine.  I need to start looking less at the grade and more at the experience.  I need to start looking for more ways to help people instead of deciding that they can't be helped or assuming that they don't want help just because they haven't been able to "make the grade" on their own.  I need to start showing God's "students" the same grace and mercy that He shows me every day.  Now, that is a lesson learned.

Don't forget to vote!

I have had several people tell me that they are not voting.  A few of them have never voted!  A couple of them are my nieces...they weren't sure of who to vote for.....they just didn't understand the importance of voting.  As I was driving to work this morning I thought about the two service men that lost their lives in Afghanistan this past week and the hundreds of thousands more men and women who have given their lives so that we can live in a country with so many freedoms, including the right to vote.  To not take the time to research the candidates and go to the polls and vote is not only irresponsible; it is disrespectful.  Can you imagine how the families of those men and women must feel to learn that millions of Americans don't even exercise one of the liberties that their loved ones died to defend?  Don't fall prey to the cynicism of our times and think that your vote doesn't count.  Every vote counts and everyone needs to vote!  If you are registered, please take time to vote.  God bless you, and God bless America!

Sunday Morning

Have you ever noticed that the times that it is the most difficult to get to church, are the times when you feel the most blessed for showing up?  That is what happened to me this morning.  I got up early and made a pot of coffee, but decided that we would leave early enough to grab breakfast on the way to church instead of cooking.  In my mind, we would leave at 10 and have plenty of time to eat and get to church before the 10:45 start time.  Well, you know how things always seem better in your mind!?  It was 10:15 when I got everyone to come to the car to leave....and then the car didn't want to run!  My husband, who never believes me about car stuff and thinks I am a car-hypochondriac, tried to tell me that it was the battery even thought the battery was showing full charge.  I, on the other hand, insisted it was something in the fuel system; a fact he didn't want to consider because he insisted in putting the cheap gas in even after I told him that my almost 12 year old car with over 208,000 miles on it really didn't run well with cheap gas!  Anyway, after a couple of laps around the yard and several restarts down the dirt road, we made it to the gas station with Hardees attached and got "better" gas for the car and breakfast to go for everyone.  Yes, there were a few times this morning that I thought about staying home!  But, I'm so glad that I didn't!  We were only a few minutes late for church, and I had a truly awesome worship experience!  One of the songs we sang spoke of how God has never given up on me and reminded me that, no matter what mistakes I make, He never will give up on me.  What a blessing!  One that I would have missed if I had given up easily this morning.  So, the point to this is that no matter what you may be going through, remember that God never gives up on you and use that knowledge to give you hope and strength to persevere and never give up on yourself.  It is often when things are the most difficult that something amazing is just around the corner.  Hang in there!  With God, all things are possible!

Guarding Your Heart and Mind

I have often been told and heard others say that it is wise to guard your heart and your mind.  I like to tell my children in a simpler way:  if you put good things in, good things come out.  If you put trash in, trash comes out.  So, what is the best way to guard your heart and mind?  Today, some verses from Phillipians, 4:6-7 from the NLT version, were on my desk calendar.  "Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything.  Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done.  If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand.  His peace will guard your heart and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."  Immediately I thought of all of the times that I have either been told or told others to guard their heart and mind.  This verse really spoke to me today and reminded me that God will do the hard work for us if we let Him.  We don't have to guard our hearts and minds; God will do it for us if we just let Him.  If we will just choose to spend time with Him....if we will just choose to read His word.....if we will just open our hearts and minds to Him, His peace will guard them both!  I don't know about you, but my plate is pretty full these days, so I am very happy to take this off of my "To Do" list and hand it over to God. 

What do you do?

My heart is sad tonight as my dear friend learned that she had lung cancer and is waiting for an appointment with the oncologist to discuss where to go from here.  The one spot that she new of turned into multiple spots in multiple places, and she won't know anything definite until a biopsy is done.  I still remember that crushing feeling I got when I learned that my Mom had lung cancer.  It has been 8 years, but I still remember where I was and even the time of the call.  We were so fortunate that her cancer was isolated and in only one spot when it was found.  A portion of her lung was removed, not as simple as it sounds, and the cancer had not returned.  She was spared the difficult treatments that so many with cancer have to endure.  I'm afraid that my friend will not have that option, and she will have to make some difficult decisions in the days and weeks ahead.  As much as it hurts me to think of her having to suffer, I know that this amazing woman of God will allow God to use her and this situation to inspire others.  She has already been such an inspiration to so many people in her lifetime.  As we talked tonight, she shared with me her concern for her quality of life versus her quantity of years left.  She doesn't want to spend her last days enduring treatments that make her too sick to enjoy her family if that is what she faces.  She didn't want to sound selfish.  I assured her that she didn't.  I told her that she would know what to do when it was time to make a decision because I knew that she would be talking to God about it and that He would direct her steps; she has told me this same thing many times.  Her faith in God never waivers.  She has taught me more about trusting God in the past 3 years than I learned in my entire life prior to meeting her.  Her joy is unstoppable because, as she has told me often, it comes from the Lord.  I can only aspire to have her faith and be the Godly example to others that she is to me.  So, what do you say?  What do you do when you get the news that you didn't want to hear and you certainly don't understand?  You go to God.  My desk calender today sums it up....."God, through prayer, invites you to receive of His grace and mercy whenever you are in need.  He encourages you to ask, to knock, and to call upon Him so that you may learn His will, know His heart, and receive His answers."

Have you ever been mad and you didn't know why or even that you were mad?  I was today.  My day started off great.  I slept in, and my husband went to town and brought me and the girls back waffles for breakfast.  I started cleaning house, and, before I knew it, I was suddenly a very unhappy woman!  My little girl is spoiled rotten, and she wasn't doing what she should have according to her Dad's list and my demands.  I found myself raising my voice and, finally, just telling her to go outside and play and let me do what I needed to do.  She, being the stubborn child that she is, wouldn't even do that.  Not long after I realized I was definitely in a foul mood, my oldest daughter left for work, and my husband dropped my youngest off at my Mom's house to play for a while with her cousins.  When they all left, I went back to cleaning and even left the radio off so that I could listen to the quiet.  It didn't take me long to realize that, even though my daughter is spoiled and should have done what I asked without complaining, she wasn't the root of my problem today.  The root of my problem is that I haven't spent enough time with God this week.  As soon as I realized that and spoke to God about it, my attitude began to get better.  You see, I got some bad news about a dear friend this week, and I have been very upset about it.  I knew that it bothered me deeply, but I really didn't think that I was mad about it.  Then, last night, my husband told my daughter that he was going to hang out with some friends tonight and that he would give me some money to take her out for a movie or something.  He looked at me and said, "Is that OK?"  I looked back at him and said, "Sure, I'd love to take her out for our anniversary."  Our anniversary is Monday, and, yet again, he completely forgot about it!  I didn't get mad and rant and rave.  He walked outside to make a call and came back to tell me that he had changed his plans and would be taking me to dinner instead.  So, today, I was really upset about my friend and completely disappointed that the man who stood before God and promised to love me forever can't even remember the day we got married, and most of that anger was directed at my little girl.  Now, back to what I said earlier about not spending enough time with God.  It isn't that spending more time with God would have changed my friend's news or made my husband remember our anniversary or even made my little girl do what I asked today; it is just that spending more time with God would have completely changed my attitude and my reaction to all of those things.  Spending more time with God would have humbled me to the point that I would have been able to extend grace and mercy to those that I love because God shows me that grace and mercy every day.  So, as I cleaned my shower and listened for that still, small voice, I asked God to forgive me for my anger and for not spending more time with him this week.  He spoke to my heart and let me know that I am forgiven, and reminded me to remember to extend that forgiveness to others...even husbands who forget anniversaries. 

Busy with Things

What a week it has been!  I'm wrapping up my last week of filling in for a 4th grade teacher.  It has been a blessing in more ways than one, and I'm trying to make sure that I get this week's lesson done and leave the room and the kids in great shape for the teacher when she returns on Monday.  Of course, I have my own homework to do, but I took a night off from school last night to go to the Journey concert with my baby sisters.  I'm so glad that I did!  We had a great time, and, as I sat in between the both of them and wondered how they could enjoy themselves with the constant phone messaging and texting, I knew that this would become a night that I would always cherish.  I didn't even have a cell phone when I was the youngest sister's age(20), and I don't think that I would have had it on at a concert if I did!  I'm so thankful for our technology, but I am also thankful that I am from a generation that knows how to turn it off.  You see, because I lived without it before, I know that the world won't end if I leave my phone in the car or just turn it off from time to time.  I missed my best friend from high school last night during the concert. I lost her when we started our senior year. She would absolutely love the technology of today! She was so smart and always willing to try new things way before I was! She would be the one telling me to upgrade my phone and absolutely do twitter, but, if she were alive today, I would call her just to hear her voice or drive to meet her just to see her smile. Technology is great, but some things are just better in person.

It's easy to get caught up in all of the things that keep us busy.  You do know that busy is a state of mind, though, don't you?  Today I went to see a dear friend.  She is 72 and is one of the brightest lights for Jesus that I have ever met.  The doctors have found a spot on one of her lungs and think that it is cancer.  She is not worried.  She is a rock, and she isn't even praying that it isn't cancer.  She's praying that God's will be done and that, if it is cancer, that someone's life will be changed for the better because of her trial.  She told me today that she knows that she will get through whatever this is because God has already brought her through so much.  She lost her oldest son when he was 42, and she says that, if she could make it through that, she can handle anything.  She knows that God will never let her down.  We had a great visit, and I asked her if I could pray for her before I left.  She excitedly said, "Of course!"  As I knelt down in front of her to pray and held her hands, I couldn't hold back the tears.  I had to ask her to forgive me for not coming by more often before I could pray.  She smiled and told me that she did and that there wasn't anything to forgive.  She told me that she knows that I am busy and that we each have our own lives with things going on in them.  I told her that was true, but that none of the things were more important to me than she was.  We prayed, and I know that God's will in her life and mine will be done.  I headed home and was even more thankful for the time I spent with my sisters last night.  I wish that my other two sisters would have been with us.  Just the thought of losing someone else that I love reminded me once again that the things in this life are not as important as the people in this life.  In fact, even the things that people have done to us or not as important as the people.  If you're so busy with things that you don't have time for people, than you're too busy.  Get rid of some things and get busy with people.  The things will be here when you get done with people, but the people may not be here when you get done with things.