Hope

As my relationship with Christ grows, I am learning to be less of a worrier and more of a worshiper.  It hasn't been an easy thing for me.  Anyone that knows me will tell you that I am a natural born Martha.  I worry about details and chores that need to be done.  Very seldom do I just hang out at home.  Even when I do sit down to watch TV, I do laundry or get up during commercials to do some task.  Relaxing is something that doesn't just happen for me.  I have to plan for it!  So, there are some difficult things that I have been experiencing over the course of the last 4 years and most recently, a broken relationship in my family.  I am thankful for my growth in Christ because the person that I was several years ago would be a miserable wreck by now and would have made herself sick worrying about the situations.  The woman that I am becoming today knows that God has not only seen my past and sees my now; he also sees my tomorrow and has already taken steps to help me handle whatever happens when I get there.  Don't get me wrong.  I still have moments when the worry creeps in and starts to consume my thoughts, but I now know that I can take those thoughts and cast them away in the name of Jesus.  He didn't die on a cross so that I would spend my time worrying about bills to pay or family members who don't speak to each other.  I pray for God to give me opportunities to work so that I can better manage my finances, and I pray that God will heal the hearts of family members who can't let go of anger and pride or whatever it is that keeps them apart.  I try to replace the worries with worship by being thankful for something in place of worrying.  Today on the way home from work I was listening to my favorite Christian radio station.  A mother called to thank the radio station for playing a song that she said has helped her get through the difficult days and nights that she faces since the death of her 4 month old baby.  My heart broke as she shared her story.  On my worst day filled with phone calls about our debt or a sad heart because someone that I love doesn't attend family functions or take time to see our Mom on Mother's Day, I still can't even begin to know the hurt and pain of this Mother.  As long as I am alive and able to work there is hope for my financial future.  As long as my family members are alive there is hope for reconciliation.  So, today, I am thankful for 2 healthy daughters and a God that gives me hope and the strength to focus on the hope and not the worries of the day.